how to stop a child from yelling and screaming

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The yelling and screaming of kids become one of the most common challenges mothers face.

Kids start to scream at the age of toddlerhood and this screaming turns into yelling when they grow up.

No matter what the age of the child, the reasons behind this behavior are the same, most of the time, and the solutions must be similar too. 

Why am I talking about the reasons? Didn’t you come here to find out how to stop a child from yelling and screaming? 

Finding out the reason is the very first step to solving a problem. When you know why this problem is happening, you may have a clear picture of what to do next.

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Reasons behind the yelling and screaming behavior of kids:

So here are the most common reasons for children screaming all the time or yelling at others.

1- Doesn’t understand the emotions

A most common cause of kids of young age throwing tantrums, screaming, and yelling is that they don’t understand their emotions.

They don’t know what sadness and anger are. 

They just get frustrated when they become stressed out or overwhelmed and they start throwing tantrums and screaming. 

2- Cant express

This reason goes hand in hand with the previous one and is more common with young kids, especially those who can’t talk yet properly.

Even if kids know that they are sad or overwhelmed, they just don’t know how they can express their feelings. 

I mentioned in a previous article about the reasons behind toddler tantrums, that lack of ability to express emotions or needs is a common cause of toddlers throwing tantrums

3- Fatigue & Hunger

By far the top reason for tantrums, screaming, and yelling is fatigue or hunger.

Some days they may have been more physically active and burned more energy or they may have had a lighter meal at lunchtime. 

They may feel tired or hungry and that may cause those sessions of screaming and yelling.

4- Follow any adult at home

Screaming may not be a case for an adult but what about yelling?

Adults scream and throw tantrums in the form of yelling and shouting.

This behavior may be a result of an adult yelling at kids or at any other family member in front of the kids. 

Children copy cats or I should say that they naturally absorb the behavior of their caretakers or people around them.

And Moms are the most common creature on earth that “yell”, learn why moms lose their temper so quickly? 

5- Wants attention

The kid may be seeking your attention. 

Let’s say, you are free for some time and want the attention of your partner who is constantly busy on his phone. 

You try to talk but only get a brief answer and then “silence” 

You would end up yelling!

Children want parents’ attention every time and they get ignored. Apparently, they are more patient than us. Always listening to “No! Not now.”

6- Connection battery is low

Kids have a natural desire to connect with their parents. They want to feel that they are loved and adored. 

Whatever the age is! Even adults want to connect with their parents but their busy days are a hurdle. 

Sometimes the busy schedule of parents may sacrifice this desire. 

When their connection battery becomes low, they throw more tantrums, they scream and yell.

7- Boredom

When the Boredom hits, anyone can go crazy.

Kids have the same activities every day. Just like adults, they get fed up with the same toys and the same type of “play”. 

But it’s totally fine. Boredom may cause them to scream but it ends with creativity.

8- It’s just becoming a practice

They scream, they yell and get what they want. 

So, it’s just becoming their regular practice. Bad!

9- Suffering from anxiety / Medical Condition

Kids suffer from anxiety too!

Don’t think that it’s an adult thing only.

If you feel like your child is constantly sad, throwing tantrums, or gets fed up with everything very soon, it might be anxiety or any other medical condition.

Not always, sometimes it’s just a phase that lasts 1-2 weeks maximum.

It may be a growth spurt.

Trusting the mommy’s gut is crucial.


I think I’m done listing all the possible reasons, what do you say?

Now let’s move on to the point “How to stop a child from yelling and screaming?”

How To Stop A Child From Yelling And Screaming

I have some great tips to help you to stop your child from this behavior and here they are. 

1- Look for your own behavior

The first thing you should do is to look for your own behaviors and other adults in the home.

Most mothers become short-tempered because of so many reasons.

If you think that you need to be more patient with your kids, work on it.

Read: How to become a more patient mom?

If any other adult at home needs some corrections, talk to them. 

Setting up a good environment is crucial to discipline your kids.

2- Look for the reason and solve it.

As I mentioned in the section on reasons, in most cases there must be a regular reason behind it. The child must be hungry, tired or maybe she is going through a growth spurt.

As a parent, it’s your responsibility to figure it out. 

  • Has she eaten a proper meal?
  • She had an active day?
  • Do you notice any physical changes happening to them?

After figuring out the reason, try to come up with a solution.

What is the solution? You know it! It depends on so many factors.

3- Connect, connect, connect:

If you think you haven’t spent enough time with your child, she might be missing the connection, just sit down and connect.

I know you hate playing with the kids, every parent does. Not because we don’t love our children.

We just don’t have that kind of energy. We have a lot of stuff to handle and a lot of messes and stresses are going on.

Read Also: How to make your child feel more loved; when you are insanely busy?

Make the child feel more loved!

If she is a toddler, play with her. If she is a junior, sit down and color together. Parenting a teenager? Take her to dinner or a long drive.

There are so many options to connect and the internet is full of ideas.

4- Teach them to identify, express and handle emotions:

Toddlers can’t identify their emotions, juniors sometimes identify but can’t express and teenagers mostly express them in the wrong way.

So it’s different for different stages of age.

You can start to teach your toddler to identify the emotions as early as 2.5-3 years old. You can do it by talking to them and explaining your own emotions. 

“I had a lot of work to do so I’m feeling tired.”

“I feel really bad about what that person said, I feel like bursting and I think I should just drink some water and take a few breaths.”

You are not just talking like this, you are explaining what caused these emotions and how you are trying to handle them properly.

For teenagers, sometimes these tips don’t work because they already know these things, they just don’t follow.

For them connecting and role modeling might work.

5- Use differential attention technique

While I was reading an article about stopping a toddler from constant screaming, I found this point and it really makes sense.

Pay attention to only good behaviors and ignore the behaviors that are troublesome.

Be consistent with this tip, it really works.

These monsters are attention seekers, if you are paying a good amount of attention to bad behaviors then expect to face these behaviors every time, especially when you are busy.

6- Whisper

Whisper should be a synonym of a lifesaver! 😀 

What do you think?

Whenever children start to yell, you start to whisper and see the magic.

How does it work? It diverts their mind and pushes them to focus on your words

And it also calms down the environment.

Conclusion:

The rule of thumb is to find out the reason and solve it. Prevention is a better option.

Sit down and connect with your children. No matter how busy you are, spend at least 10-15 minutes a day with them. Earn their trust and respect. When they raise their voice, you should slow down and whisper.

Best of luck with your parenting journey!