A very unexpected thing that happens when you take your kid to her preschool for the very first day, is the anxiety and guilt that hit the parents.
The kid is crying and saying, “Mommy! I don’t want to go. Please don’t leave me.” but you have to hand over her to the teacher, say goodbye and return to your home!
That was the time when felt like I was sitting on a bomb. A thick ball of guilt was stucked into my throat that wouldn’t let me sip some water.
It’s true! Especially when she is my first child or I haven’t dropped her at daycare ever in her life.
The anxiety is real but there is no way out. You have to drop her at school, that’s how it is.
Dealing with these emotions is really important because your child will feel you when you will be worried and it is going to do more harm than good.
Here are some tips for moms who are going through this phase.
1- Talk to the staff & make friends.
Leaving your child to someone strange is hard. If you don’t know the school staff and the teacher, this will make this phase even harder for you.
It’s best if you could meet the teacher and other school staff before actually dropping your kids at them.
It’s even better if you could make some friends there. You might feel a little more comfortable.
2- Deep Breathing
Have patience. I know it’s hard but you have to practice some skills to do so.
Try deep breathing. It is known to really help with anxiety.
Or count to 10 slowly and focus on what really is going on and why you are doing this.
3- Remind yourself what’s the reality
It’s just the very first phase of her being away from you. Think that you are still with her. One day she will be living in another home away from you.
At this stage, she will be back to you after 2 or 3 hours and you can have a cuddle and play together.
Think that preschool is also a way to improve your bonding with your child. Just like you are waiting for her, she must be waiting to meet you again. When you two will be together in a few hours, how sweet it will be.
4- Remind your own childhood
I reminded myself of my own past. When I was a child, I never wanted to go to school in the morning when I had to wake up. But right after I reached there, I was fine.
It must be the case for every child. Getting out of bed, getting ready, and leaving for school seems like hard work when you are sleepy.
But after reaching there and meeting with friends, things become okay.
5- Try to keep yourself busy
When you are back at home or left for work after dropping her at school, try to keep yourself busy. As busy as possible.
I know you wouldn’t be able to concentrate. I know because I couldn’t. But keep trying.
6- Ask her teacher what she does after you leave
You can talk to her teacher or other school staff about what happened after you left. It’s a usual practice that when children see parents, they cry but as soon as you are out of sight, they will be fine.
Asking her teacher and knowing that she was fine should be a relief.
7- Ask her about the day
When she will be back from school, you can also ask her what she did and did she enjoyed it?
Usually, children don’t answer or talk about school for the first few days but they will eventually start talking about it.
Listening to the child that she enjoyed, may help you to overcome your separation anxiety.
Separation anxiety also hits moms when they first drop their kids at preschool or school. It’s real and it’s hard. But there are ways to overcome it and time will also help you to heal.
Remember, this phase is necessary. She can’t stick with you throughout your life. At some point in life, she will have to go away from you for her own like, just like you did. As soon as she is happy and successful, you must be fine.